I’m sitting at the kitchen table communicating with a student in my ELA class via email when I hear my son’s high school English class is about to start class. I need to see a virtual high school class in action, so I follow him to his bedroom. Ninth graders are so embarrassed about everything (even virtual learning). He was actually running with the computer in his hands to get into another room. I followed at a slow, tippy-toe jog pace.
As I got closer, I could see his class (Why do they all look so tired?) and his teacher on the screen. Whoa! His teacher spoke so eloquently and was wonderful with the students. And she is so pretty. He used his left arm, which was not visible on the screen, to shoo me away. I complied, but I couldn’t wait for the lesson to end and for him to come upstairs. I have so many questions.
About thirty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. I had to sweet talk him (remember he is in ninth grade – I believe almost all ninth grade boys are grumpy, especially in the morning). I started slow.
“Hey, buddy. Was that your English teacher?”
“Dad, stop.” He replied. Already, visibly annoyed.
“Don’t tell your mom, but she’s really pretty. How old do you think she is?” I asked knowing his mom was in the other room on the computer.
“Dad, you’re disgusting. I don’t know how old she is.”
“How do I set up a parent conference?”
“Will you please stop, Dad?” He begged.
“I could come in as a parent helper or be a guest in the classroom. I love to read and write. I could talk about that.”
“NO, Dad. You can’t come into my classroom. Stop being weird.”
My wife came into the room. “What are you guys talking about?”
“His hot English teacher.” I smiled.
“Stop.” She said.
“You guys are both weird.” My son said as he left the room to go back to his room.
“You know, he doesn’t know how old you are.” I said to my wife.
“Not surprising. He doesn’t know what’s going on in English class either.”
Oh, boy. You know you’re in trouble when your son is struggling in high school English and his mom is the teacher. Ugh!